god save the queen

Samantha. The nicest asshole you'll ever meet. Unsuccessful author. Out of practice artist. Harry Potter obsessed. Human disaster. Simon&Sass. PDX. emojiemoji
  • 1/4 part of me: I want to be cute and delicate and have a petite body.
  • 1/4 part of me: I want to look smokin' hot and sexy in a bikini and have curves and a fuck you attitude
  • 1/4 part of me: I don't even care man I can totally eat all of that cake watch me
  • 1/4 part of me: I want to murder everyone and laugh as i bathe in their blood

dutchster:

why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor

(via disorder)

buttsweats:

where i work we rent out a variety of buildings and to make a long story short i’m going to hell

(via heart)